Timberwolf Rivals Read online

  “No,” Stu said, “it won’t.”

  “I remember a kid who licked the flagpole,” Tom said. “He was stuck there for a long time.”

  “That’s a flagpole,” Stu explained. “Flagpoles don’t have chrome.”

  Stu pointed at the bumper. It was shiny and made of chrome.

  “Magnets stick to flagpoles,” Stu said. “Magnets don’t stick to chrome. Chrome is different,” Stu explained. “A person’s tongue won’t stick to chrome.”

  “Really?” Tom asked.

  “Sure,” Stu said. “Watch this.”

  Stu got on his hands and knees. He leaned forward and licked the chrome bumper. His tongue did not stick. Stu got up again. “See?”

  Tom laughed. “I guess that does make Johnny a big fat chicken.”

  “You do it then, Tom,” Johnny said. “I dare you. No, I double-dog dare you.”

  “You shouldn’t have said that,” Stu told Johnny. “Now Tom’s going to do it, and Connie will hear that you chickened out.”

  “Okay, Tom,” Johnny said, “I take back the double-dog dare.”

  “Too late,” Tom said. “When Connie hears you’re a big fat chicken, she’ll decide to go to the dance with me.”

  Tom got on his hands and knees and crawled toward the bumper. He leaned his head forward. He stuck his tongue out and licked the bumper.

  Tom’s tongue instantly froze to the bumper.

  “Aaaaack!” Tom said.

  “Don’t yank your tongue loose,” Johnny said. “You’ll rip the skin off. I saw a little kid do that once after he was stupid enough to lick a flagpole.”

  “Aaaaack!” Tom said. Then he said something that sounded like “help.” It was hard to understand him. Most of his tongue was stuck to the bumper.

  “I think he’s saying ‘help,’” Johnny said. “Just wait. I have something in my backpack that might be helpful.”

  Johnny kneeled beside his backpack and opened it. He pulled out a camera and started taking photos of Tom with his tongue stuck to the bumper.

  “Aaaaaack!” Tom said.

  “I agree,” Johnny said. “You do look silly. And when Connie sees these photos, she’ll know I’m the one she should dance with at the Valentine’s fundraiser.”

  “Aaaaaack!” Tom said.

  “What’s that?” Johnny asked. “How come Stu’s tongue didn’t stick to the bumper?”

  Johnny pulled out a tube of Vaseline. “This stuff is greasy and it doesn’t freeze. We put it on the part of the bumper that Stu licked. His tongue just slid off the grease.”

  Johnny took a bunch of photos of Tom on his hands and knees with his tongue stuck to the bumper of the car.

  “Aaaaaack!” Tom said.

  “It’s hard to understand you,” Johnny said. “But I think you want help, right?”

  “Uh-huh,” Tom said, on his hands and knees. “Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.”

  “Okay,” Johnny answered. “We’ll go into the school and ask a teacher to come and pour warm water over your tongue. Then you’ll be unstuck.”

  Johnny looked at Stu. “We should ask Mr. Wright, shouldn’t we? Isn’t this his car?”

  Chapter Six

  A Divided Twosome

  That night, the Howling Timberwolves played another home game. This time they faced the Pirates from out of town. The Timberwolves had not lost to the Pirates all season.

  “Easy game tonight,” Johnny said to Tom as they skated during the pregame warm-ups.

  Tom didn’t answer.

  “Are you’re still mad at me for this morning?” Johnny asked. He waved at Connie, who was sitting in the stands. “It was a joke. If you and I had tricked Stu into licking a car bumper, you’d still be laughing.”

  Connie waved back. Tom did not look at Connie.

  “I don’t want to play on your line tonight,” Tom said.

  “I guess you’re still mad at me.”

  “Coach Smith said I could try playing on the line with Eldridge,” Tom said.

  “But the team needs us to play together,” Johnny said. “We’re the line that scores the goals. We need Eldridge and his line to stop the other team from scoring. They are the defensive line. That’s how we win.”

  “I don’t want to play on your line,” Tom said.

  “Come on,” Johnny said. “It was a little joke. It’s not like the whole world knows about it.”

  They stopped talking for a second as a defenseman for the Pirates skated over to them.

  “Hey,” the defenseman said, “I heard some idiot on your team licked a car today and froze his tongue to the bumper. Is that true?”

  “Wow,” Johnny said, “news travels fast.”

  “It should,” the defenseman said to Johnny. “You’re the one who told my teammate about it.”

  The defenseman skated away.

  “Like I said,” Tom told Johnny, “I would rather play on the line with Eldridge.”

  Tom skated over to the bench.

  He didn’t play a shift with Johnny the whole night.

  And the Timberwolves lost 9–5 to the Pirates.

  Chapter Seven

  Who Looks Worse?

  “This will be an easy test,” Tom told Johnny. “And the best way to get a girl’s attention.”

  They were in the school gym at the end of lunch hour. Stu was there too. Stu had a video camera.

  “What’s the test?” Johnny asked.

  “When Connie sees who has the biggest muscles,” Tom said, “she’ll know who’s the strongest and who she should go to the dance with.”

  “Not a bad idea,” Johnny said. “Maybe that will make up for watching us lose last night’s game. How does your contest work?”

  Tom pointed at the gymnastic rings hanging from the ceiling.

  “I’m going to take my shirt off, grab on to those rings and pull myself up. You’ll be able to see my giant muscles. And Stu will video how long I can stay up there,” Tom explained. “Then it’s your turn, and Stu will video you too. There’s no way you’ll be able to hold yourself up longer than I can.”

  “Okay, but I’m not going to like making you look bad two days in a row,” Johnny said. “When Connie goes to the dance with me, just remember this was your idea.”

  “Ha!” Tom said. He took off his shirt. He posed for the video camera. He flexed his muscles. Then he jumped up, grabbed the wooden rings and pulled himself up with a mighty grunt. He stayed there for ninety seconds. Finally, he was so tired he dropped to the ground.

  “Look at the clock,” Tom said, pointing at the big white clock on the gym wall. “There is no way you’re going to last longer than ninety seconds.”

  “Impressive,” Johnny said. “But not as impressive as I will be. You guys are right. This is a great way to get a girl’s attention.”

  Johnny took off his shirt. He flexed his muscles. He jumped up and grabbed the rings. He pulled himself up with a mighty grunt. As he held himself up, he stared at the clock. He counted the seconds. There was no way he was going to let Tom win this contest. Especially with Stu recording it.

  Johnny heard a chair scrape against the floor behind him. Then he felt something cold on his back that pushed him forward.

  “Hey!” Johnny said. But he didn’t let go. He was only at seventy seconds. He needed to hang on for at least ninety-one seconds to win.

  The cold thing on his back pushed against him even harder. Johnny couldn’t see it.

  “I know that’s you, Tom,” Johnny said. “You’re trying to make me lose. But it won’t work.”

  The thing on his back felt hard and round, but it didn’t hurt. Johnny gripped the rings tightly. When the cold round thing stopped pushing him forward, Johnny swung backward. Something was still stuck to his back.

  Tom appeared in front of Johnny and waved.

  Johnny didn’t care what was stuck to his back. Tom wasn’t going to trick him into letting go.

  Johnny stared hard at the clock. His arms were tired. He only had to hold o
n for another ten seconds to beat Tom.

  Stu moved to the side and kept filming Johnny.

  “I’m going to win,” Johnny said loudly to the camera. He watched the clock. To beat Tom, all he had to do was stay up for six more seconds.

  Five…Four…Three…Two…One…

  “I win!” Johnny shouted. He dropped down from the rings. He raised his arms in triumph and posed for the video camera.

  “Nice try, Tom,” Johnny said. “But your dirty trick didn’t work.”

  Now Johnny could finally take off the thing stuck on his back.

  He reached behind himself. His hands touched a wooden handle. The handle stuck straight out of his back. It was as if he had been shot by a giant arrow. But it didn’t hurt.

  He yanked at the handle. The round thing on his back pulled at his skin.

  What was going on? What was on his back?

  He had to reach so far behind himself it was hard to get a good grip on the handle.

  He tried tugging the stick from side to side. But the round thing remained stuck to his back and pulled on his skin.

  “Are you getting this on video?” Tom asked Stu. “It should look much better than the photos Johnny took of me yesterday. Connie will think this is very funny.”

  “What’s going on?” Johnny asked.

  “I pushed a toilet-bowl plunger onto your back,” Tom said. “I don’t think Connie will want to dance with someone who runs around the gym with a plunger stuck to him.”

  “This isn’t funny!” Johnny said.

  “Sure it is,” Tom said. “If you and I had done this to Stu, you’d be laughing.”

  “Come on,” Johnny said. “Help me.”

  Tom took Johnny’s shirt and ran out of the gym. Stu followed.

  Johnny couldn’t leave the gym without the whole school seeing him. He was trapped. His shirt was off. And he had a plunger stuck to his back.

  That’s when the bell rang.

  And all the girls came in for dance class.

  Chapter Eight

  The Truth Comes Out

  At school the next morning, Johnny walked down the hall toward his classroom. Through a window of the library, he saw something that made him stop.

  He quickly stepped away from the window and flattened himself against the wall.

  He peeked around the corner to look in the window again.

  And then he ran out to the playground to find Tom.

  “Come inside,” Johnny said. “Quick.”

  “I’m not falling for that,” Tom said.

  “Falling for what?”

  “You’re going to play a trick on me. To get me back for the toilet plunger on your back. Which I only did to get back at you for making me lick a bumper.”

  “Was it your idea to put the toilet plunger on my back?” Johnny asked. “Or was it Stu’s idea?”

  “Stu’s. He said it would make you look bad when Connie saw the video.”

  “Guess what,” Johnny said. “It was Stu’s idea to get you to stick your tongue on the bumper. He said it would make you look bad when Connie saw the photos.”

  “Why would he want both of us to look bad?” Tom asked.

  “I should have known.” Johnny shook his head in disgust. “Two words: free dinner.”

  Tom understood immediately. “Stu wants Connie to be his dance partner so he can win the free dinners.”

  “Guess what else,” Johnny said. “Right now Stu’s in the library with Connie, helping her with her homework. While we look bad, he’s making himself look good.”

  “That rat,” Tom said. “That dog. Making the two of us fight over a girl. It got us in trouble. It made us lose a hockey game. What are we going to do?”

  “Whatever it is,” Johnny said, “he’s going to wish he hadn’t messed with us.”

  Chapter Nine

  Stu Wants a Milkshake

  Ting!

  “Ha,” Tom said, “that’s four in a row. One more and I win.”

  Tom and Johnny were in the science room during a break between classes. They stood at the back of the room next to a table with a glass of water on it. Tom had a metal funnel tucked into the front of his pants.

  “Hey,” Stu said when he walked in for science class. “What’s the game?”

  “Watch,” Johnny said.

  Tom took a penny out of the funnel and leaned his head back. He placed the penny on his chin. Then he dropped his chin. The penny slid off his chin and straight down.

  Ting! The penny landed in the funnel.

  “Five in a row,” Tom said. “Johnny, now you owe me a milkshake.”

  “A milkshake?” Stu said. “A milkshake?”

  More students walked into the classroom.

  “Yeah,” Tom said, “a large chocolate milkshake.”

  “Can I try?” Stu said. “I’d love to win a milkshake.”

  “Okay, but if you don’t get at least five in a row,” Johnny said, “you have to buy Tom a milkshake.”

  “I won’t lose,” Stu said. “Not when it comes to food. I’ll do almost anything for food.”

  Stu grabbed the funnel. He tucked the bottom of the funnel into the front of his pants.

  “Give me the penny,” Stu said. “Hurry. Before the rest of the class gets here.”

  Stu leaned his head back. He put the penny on his chin. He dropped his chin. The penny slid off his chin and straight down.

  Ting!

  “Ha,” Stu said. “That’s one. You don’t mess with me when it comes to free food.”

  “I guess not,” Johnny said. “You’ll do almost anything for food.”

  “Johnny’s right about that,” Tom said.

  Stu grabbed the penny again. He leaned his head back. As he put the penny on his chin, he didn’t see Tom grab the glass of water off the table. Tom hid the glass behind his back.

  Stu dropped his chin. The penny slid down into the funnel.

  Ting!

  Stu was in a hurry to win before the teacher came into the room. He grabbed the penny from the funnel. He leaned his head back. He put the penny on his chin.

  While he was looking up at the ceiling, Tom poured the glass of water into the funnel. All the water ran into Stu’s pants.

  “Aaaaack!” Stu said. He jerked his head. The penny fell to the floor. Johnny grabbed the funnel and pulled it out of Stu’s pants. He put the funnel back with the rest of the science equipment. Tom put the glass back on the table.

  “Aaaack!” Stu said. He looked down at his pants. The water had soaked through the front of his pants. It looked like he had wet himself.

  That’s when Connie walked into the room with Eldridge.

  Chapter Ten

  The Best Man Wins

  “Okay, okay, okay,” Stu said. “I was wrong. I admit it. I should never have made you two play tricks on each other to look bad in front of Connie. But I want to take Connie to the dance for the free dinners. How’s that different from you two?”

  It was lunch hour. Stu and Johnny and Tom sat together at a table in the cafeteria.

  “That’s true,” Johnny said. “I want the graphite hockey stick.”

  “And I just enjoy winning, especially if Johnny loses,” Tom said. “I guess we shouldn’t get mad at each other over this.”

  “Are you going to finish that?” Stu pointed at the last half of Johnny’s hamburger.

  “No,” Johnny said.

  Stu put the leftover hamburger in his mouth. He chewed twice and swallowed.

  “Even if we aren’t mad at each other, we have a problem,” Johnny said. “There are three of us. Connie can only go to the dance with one of us.”

  “It’s not a problem,” Tom said. “I say let the best man win. Let’s see who really got her attention.”

  “That might not be the real problem,” Stu said. “Has it occurred to either of you that we actually have to ask Connie to go to the dance, not just get her attention?”

  “Oh,” Johnny said.

  “Oh,” Tom sai
d.

  The three friends thought about this in silence for about a minute.

  “She’s probably in the library,” Stu said. He stood up. “Eldridge has been helping her with math.”

  Tom stood up. “It would be easier to ask her if we were together.”

  Johnny stood up. “I’m not scared to ask her, but I’ll come with you to help you guys out.”

  They found Connie and Eldridge at a table in the library with their books open.

  “You first,” Johnny said to Tom.

  “No, you first,” Tom said to Johnny.

  Both of them looked at Stu. “You first.”

  That didn’t work.

  “Rock, paper, scissors,” Johnny said. “Loser goes first.”

  They played rock, paper, scissors.

  Tom lost, and then Stu lost. Johnny was going to be the last one to ask her.

  Tom said, “Connie, you’re a good dancer. Will you go to the Valentine’s fundraiser with me?”

  “I’m sorry,” Connie said. “I would like to, but not this time.”

  Stu said, “Connie, I would like to win the free dinners. Will you go to the Valentine’s fundraiser with me?”

  “I’m sorry,” Connie said. “I would like to, but not this time.”

  “Like you said,” Johnny told Tom, “may the best man win.”

  Johnny said, “Connie, don’t think I’m asking because I think you are cute or anything like that, but will you go to the Valentine’s fundraiser with me?”

  “I’m sorry,” Connie said. “I would like to, but not this time.”

  “Is it because I hurt myself on the flagpole and licked a bumper?” Tom said.

  “No,” Connie said, “I thought that was funny.”

  “Is it because it looked like I wet my pants in science class?” Stu said.

  “No,” Connie said, “I thought that was funny.”

  “Is it because I drank toilet water and had a plunger stuck to my back?” Johnny said.

  “No,” Connie said, “I thought that was funny too.”

  “Then why not?” Tom asked. “How could you say no to all of us?”